I know I’ve been posting here and there randomly throughout quarantine but honestly, the past 3 months have been kinda the worst when it comes to being an artist. Surprisingly I’ve been making lots of sales, mostly from selling work I’ve made in the last 3 years but when it comes to creating new work, I sorta hit a wall.

Earlier this year, I came back to California to gather myself and find some solid footing but instead I was welcomed by quarantine. The first month was awesome! I was painting all day, going on walks, just catching my breath with a much-needed break. Then I fell into a slump. Stopped painting, exercising, reading, writing, photographing, learning, or doing any of the things that I know are good for me and help me up when I’m feeling down. Instead, my head decided it was time to hide out and disappear.

A part of me found solace in this depressed and disconnected state even though I knew it wasn’t a reflection of me or something that would benefit. I think I just needed a break from being me. I didn’t want to be someone people depended on or needed anything from. For a second there I even doubted if I wanted to be an artist. I know it was “the funk” spitting out all these outlandish thoughts but the last few weeks were tough.

I took 3 days to myself where I did absolutely nothing. Then I put down the Netflix, put away the video games, phased out the endless scrolling, and shut down the negative self-talk. I started going on runs and doing home workouts. I started painting for 30 minutes. Then for an hour and yesterday, I painted for 3 hours! I find myself smiling more and looking forward to my days. I think it’s time I started making goals again. I know the state of the world isn’t ideal and I’m not where I want to be right now but this is what I got so I’m going to start from here and make the most of it. I’m ready.