I often get asked why I paint surrealism and how I came up with the concept of juxtaposing portraits with landscapes.
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I've gone through many different styles and mediums throughout my life but oil paints are this complex, fascinating tool I've been using mostly in the last 3 years. Getting to understand how the paints interact with one another, color mixing, introducing texture, and the application of multiple layers for a desired effect have been both challenging and encouraging, but I think surrealism was really what kept my attention interested even in those rough spots. Being able to capture a thought or a feeling in such a way that usually only exists within my crazy little brain has been new territory to explore. The novelty of being able to invent and paint a vision that used to only breathe within my imagination, and I, as an artist, then having the power to share that point of view and make it a reality.
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With each painting, I welcome others into my world of paints, brushes, canvases and dream-like states. At the end of the process, I leave behind a souvenir for myself and others to enjoy.
I came up with the concept of juxtaposing people with landscapes within the portrait as a result of so many different reasons, it would be hard to pinpoint the original seed, but I can tell you where known influences came from.
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I was frustrated because I didn't want to paint another landscape or another portrait. I wanted to do something unique.
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I recently discovered contemporary and modern artists through social media(mostly Tumblr and Instagram) that weren't painting traditional scenes, or in traditional styles. They were creating their own voices in art which I felt both inspired and jealous of, but mostly curious which I then became obsessed with!
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I began to introduce philosophy, and personal themes into my art. I wanted my art to have meaning and depth beyond the illusion of capturing the light and the mood. I wanted it to be real, to me at least.
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I have to give credit to happy accidents because some things aren't completely planned!
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I had tons of sketches and mock ups of potential pieces which I was going to work in series and make a collection. I asked my brother for advice and his point of view and he kept rejecting my ideas calling them cheesy, trying too hard, copying too much, or just doesn't feel right. When I showed him the concept of a wave on a face he said "Yes! That's the one!"
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I wanted to tell the story. The story of being trapped in a world, devoid of color, which at the time involved dealing with health issues, and wanting to escape to travel the world. I don't mind talking about it now but it wasn't the case back in 2015 when I first began this journey as an emerging artist.
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I had been dealing with chronic pain in my lower limbs and joints throughout my body for about 3 years which I had been sucking up and ignoring before the crescendo when my health took a turn for the worse and I had to quit my two jobs and relied on crutches to move around. I went from traveling, working, and being independent to becoming handicapped and living in constant pain with no explanation.
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I just remember feeling helpless, but mostly ashamed. I didn't want people to see me and think-- unemployed, uneducated(didn't go to college), broke, out of shape, and cripple. I didn't want people to notice my crutches or my cast before they noticed me. I was embarrassed to be sick. I kept thinking, I'm 22. I'm supposed to be in the best shape of my life, full of energy and hungry for more and instead my days are being spent laying down, medicating and researching to figure out how to get better."
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It was during this time that I asked myself some tough questions about what direction in life I wanted to take and what was realistic and what was fantasy.
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In September of 2015, I was diagnosed with an auto immune disease where my body's immune system attacks it's healthy cells and in my case it mostly affects my joints and bones. If you know me well, I'm usually very active, going to the gym, playing sports, or running along the coast. I usually work a couple jobs in order to finance my lengthy trips living abroad, however all of that stopped because the pain got so severe.
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I didn't want my physical condition to define who I was as a person so after I decided to accept that this "thing" was gonna stick around for a while, I wanted my actions and my thoughts to represent the real me.
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I never really wanted to be an artist. I never wanted to carry that kind of responsibility and I didn't want to be labeled, or even worse, taken as a fool and a fraud. I know now that being an artist is much more than a title. Being an artist is listening to your heart-- it's capturing the vision only your mind’s eye can see, and having the courage to take that idea from a simple concept and to cultivate it until it becomes a reality. That is what I call art. To be an artist is to reveal truth from within. I made the overnight change to become a full-time artist and to focus my attention to creating. This switch allowed me to brainstorm and to come up with my latest collection of black and white portraits featuring colorful landscapes on birch wood panels. The portraits I paint offer insight into my world, and reveal an air of disconnectedness with an undercurrent of nostalgia— in other words, the painted figures seek to escape their reality, and to travel to those distant places painted across their faces. This series was very cathartic in the sense that although I felt trapped in my body and my new life seemed so dull and gray, I could still rely on my ability to dream and my curiosity for the world to not only escape myself, but also find myself.
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Using art as a tool to both capture my pain, and deliver myself of it, helped me in the healing process and allowed me to regain my spirits, trust in myself, and in a way, find truth and acceptance to the things I can not change.