Creatives with No Audience

- Being a creative without an audience. I'm still asking myself how to cope with this very real sensation of having invested all these hours, poured my soul into my craft, maybe even threw in a kidney and donated a gallon of tears to the cause, only to then be sitting at the edge of my seat with my left eye twitching watching paint dry. Now what?

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Learning to become accustomed with the fact that everything has a humble beginning. That even though I'm gaining some traction, I am far from earning a solid income from art. I can honestly tell you that I've invested more money in my art this year than I have earned back. Last year however, I was able to make enough to cover my entire life's expenses of art supplies including this year and probably next year. This is to say, that there are lean years and fat years and boy was this an eat top ramen and crumbs from underneath the toaster kind of year for my art.

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Now if I were to base this year on things I've learned, connections made, business acumen and marketing skills developed or level of dedication to the practice. Well by those standards I am bloody successful! Financially...ehhhh, well not so much.

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But I show up regardless wether anyone else does. Because I've had enough tastes of the possibilities to keep my interest and I want to see my talents grow. It has me waking up early, drooling all day, and then staying up late until my contacts fall out.

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I must admit, social media has been a contributing factor in helping me stay accountable and on track. Having this audience has both encouraged and challenged my overall beliefs around creativity and community and I hope you all know I appreciate all the positivity and support. A year ago I had 4,000 followers and now I've hit 30k. There are enough seats at the table for all of us to sit down and we can all have our own personal spot. It's there, waiting for you to decide to grab a chair, pick an empty space and declare ownership of that seat. Why don't you join me alongside the other artists, painters, photographers, videographers, woodworkers, writers, designers, speakers, entrepreneurs and any creative kindred spirit who wants to make ideas happen. -

Designing a Studio Space

- Designing my own studio space provides a canvas, to which I am grateful and lucky to be able to color with my experiences, my artifacts and tools of the trade, arranged to inspire and unleash the artist within. This project of redoing the studio was like a detox for my brain. I was able to empty out all the drawers, so that I could reduce clutter that had been clouding my mind, cleansing  and filtering out years of unkept things. I was able to get rid of furniture that was only there for decoration rather than for actual use. I minimized, simplified and catered the room to my creativity. A comfortable chair for reading in the morning when I wake up to a warm cup of coffee and a good book with a blanket. A leather sofa and lounge area for when I have friends over for wine or a kickback. A long wide desk since this is where I spend half my time drawing, researching, editing photos, and writing. A soft rug under my easel for catching paint to protect the hardwood floors. A couple of rolling carts to keep supplies for easy access and storage. A little twin bed in the corner for if I want to take an afternoon nap. 

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And personal touches incorporated throughout the white landscape to make this place sacred. A Mexican avocado green blanket from one of my summer trips, Himalayan prayer flags gifted by a friend, a painted tin cup I use for turpentine from my artist mentor, a wooden piggy bank from Cambodia to collect coins, a concrete table built to hold my prized collection of coffee table books. And last but not least, a handful of my paintings up on the wall, to remind myself of my journey as an emerging artist.

Seascape Auctions!

Every weekend I auction off a miniature 6 in x 6 in oil painting of a seascape on cradled birch wood panel via Instagram!

Follow @beaubfrank & turn on post notifications to receive updates!

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Auctions are open worldwide so you're all welcome to participate! Shipping will not be included & is an additional $10(US) / $20 (international)

Born Afraid

- I think I was born afraid. Fear has challenged almost every aspect of my life. It haunts my every action, questions my every motive, and tugs at my sleeve to pull away when things get up close and personal. I always plan 10 steps ahead to give myself room to adapt and change course should any sign of danger or discomfort arise. The only problem is that it's inevitable and impossible to avoid vulnerability, people, or places of judgment. It's everywhere and can come from any direction and at any time.

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Especially when I decide to go paint. There is always a moment of doubt right before I start. I can sense the anxiety and the desire to run away kick in when I approach the easel. I wonder if this will be the time that I truly f**k up. That I spill the paint over all my hard work. That I forget the steps or can't seem to get the right colors--Or that the composition is off and I have to restart--That I'll spend all this time and energy on a piece only to look at it and hate it. The voices--These insecurities, these deceptions, these fears. They've always been there, and unfortunately most likely will always be there... But it doesn't stop me. I'm not afraid to be afraid. I don't always know what I'm doing but I do know some things. Enough to start. Just enough to try.

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My brain wasn't designed to make me happy. It was designed to keep me alive, safe and comfortable. In the studio, I hear my brain but I also hear another voice.

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My heart tells me a different story. It reveals the mask of fear and peels it back allowing a light to shine through. It wants to push me to become what I've always wanted to be. It wants to guide me to explore new spaces within my soul and to connect those places with the outside world. To find a way to merge human nature with global nature. To show that we are all connected, even if most folks don't act like it. It tells me to paint even when I'm afraid. Just one brush stroke at a time. And eventually I stand back from the canvas and see the work I put in and I think to myself, "How on earth did I do that?" And I'll tell you how--It's because I trusted my heart and my gut, and they always seem to know what I need and want most. -

My relationship with Depression

I was reading and came across a word I wasn't quite sure of. It felt oddly familiar but truthfully I had no idea of it's meaning so I looked it up in the dictionary. 

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Inexorable: Impossible to stop or prevent. Not able to be moved by entreaty or persuasion. Relentless.

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Even though I didn't fully understand the weight of the word before finding it's definition, a part of me felt connected to it. Enough to write down this unknown word in my phone to check back on it later. And here we are, some odd 8 hours later finding out the answer to the question.

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I didn't go to college and I sure as hell didn't pay attention in class in high school. It wasn't my thing. I felt really disconnected to people and especially from the subjects in school. So I guess the idea of school or learning wasn't my thing. I couldn't justify the effort demanded of me or the time commitment expected of me. I used to keep my head down in my books and study and get good grades, but then one day I looked up at my life and I just didn't care. Depression is a tricky thing. It sneaks up on you. It's a way out. It's an escape. It's a lonely place to be, but if you dwell in that place long enough, the lights go out, the ground swallows you up, and it becomes your home. It comes in many shapes and sizes, colors and cultures, and it's pain ranges on a spectrum from bleeding out uncontrollably to being numb—both of which eventually festers and scars.

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Depression doesn't care who it infects--doesn't discriminate by gender, race, social or political status. It simply follows where it's called upon.

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As a sensitive artist, I felt like I was doomed to follow in the footsteps of so many others before me. If it wasn't the drink, it was going to be a broken heart, a noose, pills, or maybe a disease that would lead to my untimely demise. The hurt would make my work better but it would take me down a road I wouldn't be able to return from. 

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Life in high school was hard for me. I was in pain, nobody noticed, and I didn’t talk about it. Sometimes I look back at my years spent in that place between hell and reality. I didn’t even see it coming or know it’s name until I was caught in the middle of it. 

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I never expected to be overcome by depression.

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Maybe it had always been there, chasing after me or perhaps it took more of subtle approach and lingered like a shadow. Maybe I didn't know I had that power—that special kind of hurt inside. Or maybe I was destined for it. My discovery of the weight of this world would one day become too much for me to comprehend and too much for me to handle. It would eventually instill in me a distrust, a fear and a hopelessness that never really goes away. The inexorable truth of the human condition. A reminder that pain and suffering is inevitable. Nobody makes it out unscathed either.

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It took a really long time, to let myself feel again. The healing process was slow and steady and developing trust in others and myself has been a gradual, daily challenge. I don’t know if everyone experiences this as well but because of the nature of my life, I’ve endured both physical and mental pain. The physical came with an autoimmune disease and disability. The mental came with depression and loneliness.

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These things broke me for a while, and truthfully I don’t really know why those things happened and if they could have been prevented. I can’t live in what if’s though. I survived and I overcame these moments that could have taken over my life and taken away what little I had left during my lowest lows. 

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But it didn’t. Because a part of me still wanted to live. A part of me recognized that I had demons, and I had scars and maybe even at one time in my life, I had actual crutches. But so what. I still wanted to experience it all. There was this need to breathe, to consume the air and atmosphere and the people and joys of possibility. There was this desire to find a way out, and make my life beautiful. To make my life a body of work painted with meaning and purpose.

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And the only way out was through. To endure and overcome, and to be courageous enough to be vulnerable again. To let my armor down, open my arms and allow my soft spots to show and in those moments when I could have been gunned down, crushed or beaten, I was greeted to kindness, loyalty, and to love. I learned to trust strangers again, giving others the power to destroy me—But the ones that truly mattered instead chose to see me as I am, and appreciate me regardless.

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Inexorable love. 

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I have not abandoned myself. My spirit, although bruised and saddened by the challenges I’ve experienced, has remained intact—Grateful in fact for the priceless knowledge and life lessons gained along the way. My commitment to myself and to my craft refuses to stop and hide from it’s potential. All those things I dream of, write down in my journals or whisper underneath my breathe to a shooting star—Those things are inevitable. I welcome adversity. I am not afraid of the pain anymore. It can slow me down, try and lock me up, take away my things or hurt me, but it can not take away the freedom I cary within. And even if I fail and fail again, I will remain faithful to the work and my inexorable love of life.

Why I paint Surrealism?

 I often get asked why I paint surrealism and how I came up with the concept of juxtaposing portraits with landscapes.

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I've gone through many different styles and mediums throughout my life but oil paints are this complex, fascinating tool I've been using mostly in the last 3 years. Getting to understand how the paints interact with one another, color mixing, introducing texture, and the application of multiple layers for a desired effect have been both challenging and encouraging, but I think surrealism was really what kept my attention interested even in those rough spots. Being able to capture a thought or a feeling in such a way that usually only exists within my crazy little brain has been new territory to explore. The novelty of being able to invent and paint a vision that used to only breathe within my imagination, and I, as an artist, then having the power to share that point of view and make it a reality.

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With each painting, I welcome others into my world of paints, brushes, canvases and dream-like states. At the end of the process, I leave behind a souvenir for myself and others to enjoy. 

I came up with the concept of juxtaposing people with landscapes within the portrait as a result of so many different reasons, it would be hard to pinpoint the original seed, but I can tell you where known influences came from.

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I was frustrated because I didn't want to paint another landscape or another portrait. I wanted to do something unique.

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I recently discovered contemporary and modern artists through social media(mostly Tumblr and Instagram) that weren't painting traditional scenes, or in traditional styles. They were creating their own voices in art which I felt both inspired and jealous of, but mostly curious which I then became obsessed with!

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I began to introduce philosophy, and personal themes into my art. I wanted my art to have meaning and depth beyond the illusion of capturing the light and the mood. I wanted it to be real, to me at least.

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I have to give credit to happy accidents because some things aren't completely planned!

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I had tons of sketches and mock ups of potential pieces which I was going to work in series and make a collection. I asked my brother for advice and his point of view and he kept rejecting my ideas calling them cheesy, trying too hard, copying too much, or just doesn't feel right. When I showed him the concept of a wave on a face he said "Yes! That's the one!"

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I wanted to tell the story. The story of being trapped in a world, devoid of color, which at the time involved dealing with health issues, and wanting to escape to travel the world. I don't mind talking about it now but it wasn't the case back in 2015 when I first began this journey as an emerging artist.

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I had been dealing with chronic pain in my lower limbs and joints throughout my body for about 3 years which I had been sucking up and ignoring before the crescendo when my health took a turn for the worse and I had to quit my two jobs and relied on crutches to move around. I went from traveling, working, and being independent to becoming handicapped and living in constant pain with no explanation.

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I just remember feeling helpless, but mostly ashamed. I didn't want people to see me and think-- unemployed, uneducated(didn't go to college), broke, out of shape, and cripple. I didn't want people to notice my crutches or my cast before they noticed me. I was embarrassed to be sick. I kept thinking, I'm 22. I'm supposed to be in the best shape of my life, full of energy and hungry for more and instead my days are being spent laying down, medicating and researching to figure out how to get better."

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It was during this time that I asked myself some tough questions about what direction in life I wanted to take and what was realistic and what was fantasy. 

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In September of 2015, I was diagnosed with an auto immune disease where my body's immune system attacks it's healthy cells and in my case it mostly affects my joints and bones. If you know me well, I'm usually very active, going to the gym, playing sports, or running along the coast. I usually work a couple jobs in order to finance my lengthy trips living abroad, however all of that stopped because the pain got so severe.

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I didn't want my physical condition to define who I was as a person so after I decided to accept that this "thing" was gonna stick around for a while, I wanted my actions and my thoughts to represent the real me.

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I never really wanted to be an artist. I never wanted to carry that kind of responsibility and I didn't want to be labeled, or even worse, taken as a fool and a fraud. I know now that being an artist is much more than a title. Being an artist is listening to your heart-- it's capturing the vision only your mind’s eye can see, and having the courage to take that idea from a simple concept and to cultivate it until it becomes a reality. That is what I call art. To be an artist is to reveal truth from within. I made the overnight change to become a full-time artist and to focus my attention to creating. This switch allowed me to brainstorm and to come up with my latest collection of black and white portraits featuring colorful landscapes on birch wood panels. The portraits I paint offer insight into my world, and reveal an air of disconnectedness with an undercurrent of nostalgia— in other words, the painted figures seek to escape their reality, and to travel to those distant places painted across their faces. This series was very cathartic in the sense that although I felt trapped in my body and my new life seemed so dull and gray, I could still rely on my ability to dream and my curiosity for the world to not only escape myself, but also find myself.

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Using art as a tool to both capture my pain, and deliver myself of it, helped me in the healing process and allowed me to regain my spirits, trust in myself, and in a way, find truth and acceptance to the things I can not change. 

CULTURA PRIVATE COLLECTION

I met Sarah Kabat-Marcy in January of 2016, on my first day of work at Sierra Mar in Big Sur. I had just been hired the week prior and was undergoing training. While I sat there talking to my fellow colleagues during our meal break,  I introduced myself and explained the inspiration and ideas behind the "Off the Grid" series. Sarah, who at the time was sitting a few tables over to my right, overheard me and asked to see some of my work. I showed her my painting of "Mr. Bixby" on my iPhone and she asked for my website.

As a result, we met up for coffee and I brought over the magazine portfolio I had designed and she discussed the possibility of commissioning paintings for "Cultura", a new latin american influenced restaurant set to open up later that year.  She showed me the space: a dark, dusty, stained-carpet dive-bar hidden in a back-alley with a mountain of chairs in the corner climbing up to the ceiling. The place had definitely seen brighter days.  I used to go there years ago after viewing art shows with my family– we'd head over there afterward and have a bite to eat and chat.

We strolled the space and she gave me her vision of this dining room filled with a NY men's lounge red leather couches, touches of vibrant avocado green accents, detailed still-lifes spread throughout, skulls, bones, and an assortment of agave plants. Sarah envisioned blending the bizarre with the beautiful, the offbeat with the contemporary, a classic apothecary with a oaxacan bar, the traditional with the modern. What amazed me most, was the trust she confided in me, and the full creative freedom I was given for the installation pieces. She explained that she didn't want to intrude on my creative process and didn't want to disrupt the integrity of my work by adding her influence.

I went home that night and came up with the concept of having women posing in renaissance-esque poses. I didn't know where to go from there but it took about another month before we finally came to the conclusion that we didn't want to go with the typical vibrant brightly colored vibe. I went with muted tones of black and white and added touches of red to their lips, and greens to their earrings, an electrical hummingbird or a bat mid-flight, a spark of pure zinc white in their pupil.  Just as the "Off the Grid" collection was important to me and personal on so many levels, I wanted this series to tell a story that was true to "Cultura." The series entitled "Las Mezcalilleras" represents and voices of the women who've helped in the cultivation, distillation, and traditions of mezcal production.

Sarah is an extremely knowledgable sommelier with an amazing understanding of food and beverage, which she is currently translating to mezcal spirits. She carefully selected five different types of agave used in making mezcal and gave me a list of distinct characteristics for each of them. Based off of these descriptors, I created a women embodying those personality traits, each with a different backstory and an energy true to the spirt of their corresponding agave. Isabella displays maturity, Beatriz–curiosity, Gabriela–spiciness, Teresa–rarity, Carmen–approachability. 

I met with my art mentor Pamela Carrol before I signed contracts in search of advice and recommendations for how much to charge for the work Sarah was asking for, which included the logo, graphic design work, creating a brand identity and the five paintings. I gave her my thoughts on the prices I was planning on offering for the individual tasks, and she told me to do what I thought was appropriate. It's uncomfortable for an artist, especially one that doesn't know what they are doing, to ask for money. Especially when the client is paying for something that hasn't been created yet. Nevertheless, I offered Sarah an outline of my quote for the project and the work that entailed for each part. She listened carefully, didn't flinch when she saw the numbers, and she took out her checkbook and gave me a 50% deposit. I don't think people understand what a defining moment in my life that was for me. I felt like I was truly seen as an artist for the first time in my life.  Sarah, presented me with an amazing opportunity to showcase my talents and I refused to let her down. I can honestly say, she was the first person to take me seriously as an artist and to support me not just with encouragement, but financially as well.

The following 5 months would become a whirlwind of mixed emotions, late night struggles in the studio, long days at the restaurant, exhausting visits to the gym and never-ending rounds of coffee to stay afloat. Adulting 80 hours a week is what that's called. Looking back on it all, it was a testing time for me. I wasn't sure if I was capable of doing it, nor that I was going to be able to survive, let alone succeed. 

And yet I survived. I'm still here. Still breathing. Still working. Still painting.

The restaurant opened it's doors and was received with open arms throughout the community. Quite frankly, it took the Peninsula by a storm and seeing the restaurant fully-booked on weekends was like music to my ears. I began serving there a couple nights a week to supplement my income and every once in a while I'd look up from the tables and see my art on the walls and it'd hit me as to how far I've come. 

The Cultura contract was one of the most challenging and testing moments in my life and it pushed me passed my limits and even beyond that. I'm oh so grateful for the opportunity I was given by Sarah and I will never forget this moment for as long as I live. Even though I endured a lot of setbacks, mistakes, pain, problems and struggles, it was totally worth every second of it. 

And let me tell you. I want more.

- Beau

CULTURA - COMIDA y BEBIDA

http://www.culturacarmel.com

https://www.instagram.com/culturacarmel

Dolores between 5th & 6th, Carmel-by-The-Sea

Mon & Tues 5p-Midnight  /  Thurs through Sun 11:30a - Midnight (or later)  / Wed Closed

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Self-Initiated Projects

Self initiated projects are side projects that are grown organically over long stretches of time. Most often these little fun ideas are created as a result of curiosity, a personal interest, or the desire to prove to one self what they are capable of.

Time Lapse of Oil Painting "Carmel Bay" - 2017 Free Spirit Collection - Beau Bernier Frank

Inside look to my process inside the studio!

Episode 03 - Find a Mentor

Find a mentor, be a mentor

Episode 2 - Moleskine Notebooks

Share your vision and create it!

Like + Comment + Subscribe to my youtube channel to learn more about how to become successful and make sales during the early stages of an emerging artist's career Moleskine Notebooks are Italian by design and one of my most used tools.

"Off the Grid" - 19 Karen Gallery - Mermaid Beach, Gold Coast Australia

My brother Nathan and his girlfriend Olivia visited 19 Karen Gallery in Mermaid beach and the gallery shared a photo of them visiting + they made this awesome video!

Episode 1 - Birch Wood Panels

LIKE + COMMENT + SUBSCRIBE 

The first official episode on the brand new Youtube channel! I discuss birch wood panels and tell you a little bit about why I enjoy using it as a canvas. Subscribe on youtube for updates!

Inside the Studio

Bought a Go Pro & started a Youtube Channel! :)